I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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