My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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