Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
