It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
