No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
