We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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