Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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