also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
