yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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