I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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