OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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