I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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