ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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