New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
