i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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