smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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