I'm going to jail i love you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
