Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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