I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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