Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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