do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it's great music for shaving your balls
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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