for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize