Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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