you mean i was at the winter classic?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
