Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
