I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
