The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
