There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
its not stalking. its research.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I need to calm my uterus...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
