I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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