Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
