I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
