I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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