when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
