He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
