Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My vagina is officially offended.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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