dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
