He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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