is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
