therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
NoShamevember. You game?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
