margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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