I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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