Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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