I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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