dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
