someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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