just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
