What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
