I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
two words...techno handjob
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
