i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
