I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
