where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
