He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
As shirtless as possible
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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