this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
