I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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