Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
