Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
