I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
