Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my sisters under your porch take her home
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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