I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize