I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize